An angry wife to her husband on phone:
“Where the hell are you?”
Husband: “Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money at that time, and I said ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day?’”
Wife, with a smile and blushing: “Yeah I remember that my love!”
Husband: “I’m in the pub just next to that shop.”
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends.
They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged.
After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him
The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50.
The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, “You know, you’re the tenth car I’ve helped out of the mud today.”
The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, “When do you have time to plow your land? At night?”
“No,” the young farmer replied seriously, “Night is when I put the water in the hole.”
