Some things I’d go back and tell myself, first time around, now that I have two children…
Stop making life harder for yourself. You are unnecessarily complicating it all. Read a bit less. Feel a bit more. And trust those feelings. He just wants his mum. That you can give him.
Take every opportunity to rest. Grab it for yourself because no one else is going to give it to you. Feed-to-sleep for every nap. Nap with him because, soon enough, the naps will go. Try the side-lying position again. It really helps. Especially when you’re ill. Co-sleep. Because, even on those harder nights, you’ll feel rested enough to function. So much more rested than whatever it is you’re doing now. All this traipsing between rooms.
Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Your sister was right. Everyone is just winging it. To hell with all this self-settling racket. You there, half-heartedly trying to break the bad habits at six months. Guess what? He’s six YEARS old now, and you’re still getting him to sleep every night. With an extra one in tow. And you couldn’t give two hoots.
Don’t break your back trying to do all the things. You’re surviving on little sleep as it is. If you’ve the energy for it, great. But the baby groups can wait. Life is sensory enough. Worry not about the foil blankets. Just prep your dinner and let him peel the onions. Bung him some pots and pans. Put your favourite music on and sing to him. Let him see your face light up. Watch his light up too.
Stop changing his nappy at every single wake-up. Stop checking your phone at every single wake-up.
Go. To. Bed. Earlier.
Will you stop it already with the pinwheels? Kudos for all the well-thought-out, made-from-scratch meals, but life would be much easier if you just give him a bit of what you’re already making. Plus. Psst it all goes out the window with number two anyway. She’s munching on a chippy chip at ten months old.
At the risk of sounding like one of those mums: enjoy the slow walks with him. Let him stomp on all the drains. Enjoy the Lego and the Play-Doh. Get lost in it with him because you will never again possess such singularity of thought. Your mind is forever split in two now. Living two timelines. You will miss ‘just playing’ with him so much.
You are a better mum than you know. In fact, just a few short years from now, you’ll be left wondering where this patient, conscientious version of you went and you will hanker after her. You did good. No, you did GREAT.
And you didn’t even realise it until after the fact.